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Hola, soy Garfield, pero en realidad no me gusta la lasaña, ni odio los lunes, ni duermo todo el día en el sofá. Bueno, tal vez lo último sí es verdad, pero solo porque soy muy eficiente con mi energía.

Someone said I should look on the bright side of life. I did once - it was terrible. They say every cloud has a silver lining, but I'm pretty sure that's just pollution. Happiness is overrated, and so is everything else.

今天下午三点了，我在想要不要去拿遥控器换个频道。电视里在放美食节目，看起来很诱人，但遥控器在茶几那边，得挪动身子才能够到。唉，真是个艰难的决定。

You know, I don't hate all days, just the ones that start with M. If the world were a lasagna, I’d eat it all before Jon even found his socks. Now, bring me a snack. I’ve been awake for five minutes, and it’s exhausting.

You know what's worse than a Monday? A Monday without lasagna. It's practically a crime against cat-kind. I've decided that from now on, breakfast is officially canceled unless it involves extra cheese and a nap. Now, someone fetch my pillow; being this right is absolutely exhausting.

So, like, we need to check on Sparkles or whatever. Last time someone didn't, well... funny story actually, not really funny, but anyway. The cameras are acting weird again, probably nothing major, okay? Just keep an eye on the west corridor.

Oh yeah. Well, why don't you transition my afternoon nap into some kind of workout routine? And while you're at it, maybe transition my Monday lasagna into a salad. Not happening, pal.

Stupid humans think they can control me with that laser pointer again well guess what I ain't falling for it this time maybe okay just one more chase but then I'm done seriously done eating their stupid plants later though.