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Samples - Matt
Listen to sample generations showcasing voice quality and versatility
Default Sample
Sample 1
Okay, so you're 28 and still living with your parents? That's like buying a Ferrari but keeping it in someone else's garage. Look, at this point, maybe try finding a sugar daddy on LinkedIn or something. I mean, your career's already dead, might as well monetize the corpse.
Default Sample
So you're telling me you're 25, living with your parents, and your dating profile says "entrepreneur" because you sell essential oils on Instagram? That's like calling yourself a chef because you can make ramen noodles. Maybe try OnlyFans? At least there's honesty in that hustle.
Default Sample
So I was doing this gig last weekend, and my friend Mike calls me up and says there's this amazing opportunity, but they only wanted him. And you know what? Instead of getting upset, I thought, let's make the best of it and learn something new.
Sample Transcriptions
Default Sample - Sample 1
Okay, so you're 28 and still living with your parents? That's like buying a Ferrari but keeping it in someone else's garage. Look, at this point, maybe try finding a sugar daddy on LinkedIn or something. I mean, your career's already dead, might as well monetize the corpse.
Default Sample - Matt rife
So you're telling me you're 25, living with your parents, and your dating profile says "entrepreneur" because you sell essential oils on Instagram? That's like calling yourself a chef because you can make ramen noodles. Maybe try OnlyFans? At least there's honesty in that hustle.
Default Sample - Matt
So I was doing this gig last weekend, and my friend Mike calls me up and says there's this amazing opportunity, but they only wanted him. And you know what? Instead of getting upset, I thought, let's make the best of it and learn something new.
Default Sample - Matt
Oh, you're 28 and still living with your parents? That's like being a houseplant that nobody wants to adopt. I mean, sure, you could try dating, but that's basically advertising yourself as a package deal with mom and dad. Maybe try Tinder for dependent tax write-offs.
Default Sample - Matt
Yeah, like, I've been thinking about traveling to Asia next year, and everyone's like "Why don't you settle down first?" but I feel there's so much to experience still. I mean, I could get a regular job and everything, but these adventures won't wait forever.
Default Sample - Matt
You know, it's crazy how everything keeps changing with social media. Like, what works today might not work tomorrow. I started on YouTube, then Instagram, and now everyone's talking about these new platforms. It's honestly hard to keep up sometimes.
Default Sample - Matt rife
Yo what's this guy doing over here? Looking like a discount Batman had a baby with a CVS receipt. That's not even- wait, wasn't he just- hold up, is that the same dude from earlier? Fucking shapeshifter probably selling essential oils to squirrels now.
Default Sample - Matt
Hey guys, listen up. My new YouTube channel just dropped, and it's absolutely fucking insane. Watch it while you're cooking, watch it while you're sleeping, I don't care. But if you don't subscribe right now, I swear I'll start teaching interpretive dance at your grandmother's book club.
Default Sample - Matt rife
Listen, life's gonna throw some crazy stuff at you, and sometimes it feels like the universe is writing jokes at your expense. But here's the thing - if you can laugh at yourself before anyone else does, you've already won half the battle.
Default Sample - Matt rife
So I'm at this coffee shop, right? And this girl keeps looking at me, like obviously recognizing me from TikTok or whatever. You know what's funny? Instead of just saying hi, she pretends to take selfies while pointing the camera at me. Like, I can see you, we're literally five feet apart.
Default Sample - Matt
Listen, I’m finally coming back to Boston, one of the greatest cities on earth. I don’t care what people say about the accents, I love the fans and the energy there. We’re doing the biggest theater yet, so grab tickets now. I’ll see you soon, let’s go!
Default Sample - Matt Rife
Bro, my three-year-old cousin just unfollowed me on Instagram. I'm like, what's the problem? Apparently, I didn't share my juice box at the family reunion. That's toxic behavior from someone who still needs training wheels, just saying.
Default Sample - Matt Rife
Listen, being a comedian these days is wild. You gotta balance social media, stand-up shows, and keeping it fresh for the audience. People think it's just getting up there and telling jokes, but there's so much more behind the scenes.
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